The darker side of nonsense...

Yeah, so I ripped that title off of a 4 year old nu-metal album. Sue me.

This post isn't the standard fair of mocking whatever I find dumb (and leaving plenty of holes in the argument while doing so; see previous rant for a shining example). It's not a shitty daily analysis blog post, nor is it a political rant.

So what the bloody hell is it, you ask? Read on...

People have this wonderful ability to shut themselves off from reality. And while it's fun for short periods of time, living your life while doing so is a horrible waste. These are the people who ask "why do we have to fight?" during wartime, in some pitiful attempt to sound deep and thought provoking. They're the ones who cry in horror when tragedy strikes, like it was something unfathomable. They're the ones who refuse to entertain the thought of any of the less desirable things in life, and they're the ones who turn to religion, astrology, or any number of crap ways to find meaning.

Then there's the opposite: Those who don't turn to overbearing father-figure for answers (which people who do don't get anyways, but seem to enjoy pretending to), who aren't affected in the least by the pain and suffering of the world despite paying attention to it, and who are more likely to think of something wretched than of something good.

Being a part of the latter I'd love to think it's better, and I do, for the most part. But at a certain point you begin to wonder if it's healthy. I think it depends on the person, so let's take me as an example: I began to disown my religion (Christianity; could be worse I guess, at least I wasn't raised Mormon) around 14, and I saw my first picture of real, graphic violence when I was about the same age. I saw more in the week following (by my own consent, and not that of some jackass in a comp lab), and it shocked me. I think that was the last time I ever felt "shook up" by something... Three years later, in the spring of last year, one of my friends (Keith; there, happy?) who frequents totse discovered gore videos. It was a post that pretty much listed off links to the most horrible things you can think of: Impalement, animal cruelty, children being destroyed in Africa, shootings, cooked babies (ok, some of these were fake) and finally, beheadings. After about a day of damn near begging me to watch one of the beheadings, I finally did. It shows, from start to end, the decapitation of a Russian prisoner by a group of Chechyen rebels. And my reaction? Hmm, looks like an animal being slaughtered. That, and "oh, so blood doesn't so much shoot out of the neck as it 'flows' from it" (that would be the filmmaker part of my brain). After watching it all a couple more times, I worked up the courage to download the other one a couple weeks later. It had sound. Actually, it's probably one of the more infamous clips on the internet... Same principal as the other, except it's shorter, the camera is much closer (No more than 3 feet from the face), the man being killed is at most 25 years old, and you can hear him screaming as the knife goes in and cuts its way out. Nothing. No psychological effect. At least other than "Ouch."

At this point you might be questioning me as a person, and I really wouldn't blame you. I've watched countless videos like that since out of sheer fascination over the transition from life to death, and the fact that people actually record it. I realize it can't compare to actually standing there, seeing somebody you've known for years die while screaming in vein and I wouldn't want it to, but it's much closer than having never seen death at all. And for all that, I've learned a couple of things: One, I'm never, ever visiting any 3rd world former Soviet Union countries, and two, that desensitization is a handy thing to give yourself. It let's you focus on the real issues, rather than running about in the chaos.

So which is healthier? It doesn't matter. I'd rather see the world for what it is than lying to myself, saying all can be fixed in time. Why do we fight? Because we're flawed. Humanity is the definition of imperfection. No matter how good things get, there's always that darker side that never goes away. I'll think about what a person will look like after a bomb explodes, what they'd sound like as they're being decapitated, etc. for the rest of my life, and I accept it. It makes life that much more interesting.

Dwelling on the bad things isn't any way of going about your business, no. And I don't pretend to always be thinking of this crap (I'm not a fucking emo kid; not that it matters, as most of them can't grasp anything bad outside of their own miserable suburban life anyways). But you shouldn't shun it, either, because sooner or later something terrible will happen and you won't be able to cope.

Desensitize yourself.


And with that, this ridiculously long, semi-self-analytical post comes to an end. I know deeply uplifting posts like this always brighten people's day, but I'll try to refrain from making any more like it. Too much thinking.

Ow.

Country music... Yeehaw!

I love music. In fact, it's one of the few things in life that I can say without any doubt I fully enjoy. I mostly listen to metal, and by metal, no, that does not mean Slipknot (check profile). I also enjoy some more progressive-type rock like Porcupine Tree and Pink Floyd, the occasional industrial band, hell I even like Bela Fleck (which is jazz/bluegrass as best I can categorize it). So I have a pretty open mind when it comes to music, except for rap, which I won't even bother getting into right now.

But why rant about country? After all, "stupid" music is just an opinion.

Yes, it is. But music written by and marketed to STUPID PEOPLE is a very real phenomenon which I shall further explain using country as an example.

First and foremost, I listen to country a good 6 hours a day, 3 days a week on average. That's right: Unlike most jackasses making snap judgments of entire genres of music, I've actually heard MORE than enough of it to form an opinion. That's because I work at a store whose radio is always tuned to the country channel, and there's no hope of changing it.

So what is it about country that I find so excruciating? Mostly the lyrics... I mean, it's hard to concentrate on the rest of the music, given that it's market is 13+ rednecks with no real attention span. I may have no musical abilities, but it doesn't take much to notice this is crap. There's no variation in the drums, none. And every single song has the same annoying "twang" to the guitars (the "defining" point of country music, I guess). Even rap songs, despite being produced mostly by electronics, have far more variation between artists in the actual beats, and the same can be said for most every other genre I've heard.

But back to lyrics... Song lyrics can be thought provoking, inspiring, witty, or any number of things. Country lyrics will have none of that nonsense. Nope, the writers are very keen on limiting themselves to the following:

- Self pity
- Honky tonk (no clue what it is, but apparently, it's quite enjoyable)
- Thinkin' of yoOo
- Bein' lonesome
- Theirs trucks. Aw, spin 'em!

Oh, but let's not be too open minded here. Let's make all the guitarwork sound pretty much identical, and of course, drumming as mind-numbingly simple as possible. And there you have it, country music! Yeeehaw!

I was considering saying that lyrics don't have to be serious, and there's nothing wrong with a little fun. Well, the fact that I can count on exactly one finger all the serious, mildly thought provoking country lyrics I've heard steers me away from that direction. And that one song was Hurt, which was written by Trent Reznor of NIN, which is... Well, certainly not country. Oh, I'm sure if I dug deep enough into "underground" country (I can't stick those two words together without laughing) I could find some deep thought, but you know what? The average nu-metal and emo songs I hear on MTV or any rock radio station are better written than this trash, and I quote:

"I'm a Chevy girl."

Well, I guess it's easier than beating around the bush about stating you're a redneck and showing you have writing skills slightly below those of the mentally challenged, all in 4 short words.

I kid you not, that is a real lyric. I even googled it just to make sure I wasn't in some sort of hallucinatory state induced by the mind-numbing work that is moving small, colorful objects around a large building for six hours. And I give you that example because that's the gist of most of the crap that's spewed out of their mouths. The context of the song doesn't even matter and in fact, it makes matters more laughable. I'll refrain from posting the full length of the song since I don't need a damn influx of the one's who have somehow, against nature, managed to master google.

Ah, country. The figurative dump on the face of music.

Oi, you there! Yes, you!

Well, I know that at least two people for sure read this site semi-regularly (ha! That's right, a fanbase which I won't even bother going so far as to call loyal, of two people!!), so to those two people and the occasionally odd visitor who wanders in here as a result of some embarrassing google search, comment! You think I write these damned-long winded rants because I don't want any feedback/angry, demoralizing observations on my thoughts?

Well, you're right. But comment anyways.

And secondly, what do you get when you combine a bored, wannabe filmmaker/editor with an addiction to online FPSs? You get this: A video combining footage I captured while playing Call Of Duty: United Offensive with Megaherz's song "Kopfschuss." Enjoy.

A note on the video: I have a fairly limited knowledge of the German language. When I first got the idea for doing this, I didn't know kopfschuss had any meaning other than the most literal one: "headshot." But apparently it's specific to suicide, and I would assume doing so with a gun (and in the off chance somebody fluent in German is reading this, feel free to email me). So in one sense, the video makes sense: You see a head shot everytime "Kopfschuss!" is said. But in reality, it really doesn't. So take it for what it is: A collection of clips with me kicking ass (I don't always die right after it cuts! I swear!) in UO put to some really nice german hard rock.

Well, I may have another rant in the near future. Or maybe a serious post. Whatever the case, I'd just as soon not post than resort to typical "blogger"-esque posts, i.e. "I ate cornflakes for breakfast. They were good. I talked to Bob. Bob is funny. I like Bob." or "I got shoved into a locker today. I didn't like it. I'm going to cut. Waaa."

Actually I think the latter is more of a livejournal thing, but whatever. Enough rambling.