A strange day indeed.

So it's 4/20. Yes, that day when all the local pot-heads get excited because "duuude," *giggle*, "It's international pot-smoking day. Riiiight on..."

Also today:

2005: Pope Benedict XVI is announced to be John Paul's successor. Heil Deutschland!

1889: Hitler was born. A bit of violence occurred thereafter.

And the main reason for this update, least any of you forget it:

1999: Two high school seniors decide to go on a rampage at their school, killing 12 students, 1 teacher, and wounding 21 others. Given the amount of ammo and explosives they had, it's a small wonder so few died.

It should be noted that, although they were obsessed with Hitler and Nazi Germany, the attack was originally planned for the 19th (which is the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing). But my understanding is one of them couldn't get one of the guns (a tech nine) until that same day, so it would have to be put off. It's also fun to note, for those that try to blame certain aspects of society for the incident, that nobody has really been able to prove they liked Marilyn Manson. One of the shooters frequently quoted KMFDM lyrics on his webpage, but that's about it. And one of them made maps for Doom. Ooooh....

So there you have it: Quoting KMFDM and making FPS maps will turn you into a killer. Hell, I have 2 KMFDM cds, love playing FPSs, and frequent ogrish to boot. Better watch out!

An incident like this will happen again, I guarantee it. The fact that anyone could walk into my school and pull it off speaks to that. It'll be rural America, and far more than 13 will die.

One more reason to be thankful I'm graduating in a year.

The idiocy inherent in the system.

In some countries, they still hold public executions so the rest of their society will hopefully learn a lesson. Think of the following as the text equivalent.

Just when I think the comments under my suicide rant are as logically-deprived as you can get, I find this gem under the "Happy Easter!" post:

"That pisses me off soooooo much. I don't even know what to say to that. I can't put it into words. The picture isn't even funny, although other fellow ths students think it is. All i know is that it is bullshit and u shouldn't even have posted it."

Oh, but it gets better. After some brief words about their being mentally incapacitated and how Christianity in general is comedic (go to the post if you want the actual comment), the following is posted:

"Hey, all i was doing was posting my comment, so don't be saying anthing to me about it, because you are doing the exact same thing."

So, let's start at the beginning:

"The picture isn't even funny, although other fellow ths students think it is."

Humor is entirely subjective you dolt. What you find funny and unfunny is not a "truth", it's an opinion.

"All i know is that it is bullshit and u shouldn't even have posted it."

I shouldn't have posted it? Let's break this down:

www.stupidchronicles.blogspot.com = Mine.
www.stupidcrhonicles.blogspot.com = Not yours.

I'll do and write whatever I damn well please here. And as to it being bullshit: Ok, you're right: Snickers bars did not exist at that period in time and saying otherwise is clearly a crime against humanity. However, if Snickers bars HAD existed in 32 AD or whenever, I personally think Jesus would've enjoyed one. Not only would it have eased his hunger, but it would also have taken his mind off the pain for a bit. He'd need something to wash it down as well though, perhaps a coke- Nay, a Sprite! Yes, that's it, a Sprite for Jesus!

Moving on:

"Hey, all i was doing was posting my comment,"

Neat, and all I was doing was responding! It's great to know we both realize exactly what we're doing at any given moment in time isn't it? I'm also just sitting here typing. Whee!

"so don't be saying anthing to me about it, because you are doing the exact same thing."

No, you're commenting on my post. I'm responding to your comment. Anyone smart enough to comprehend what quoting is would understand the difference. Since you clearly haven't reached such a point of high intelligence, allow me to elaborate:

If we were doing the "exact same thing", I would've posted something like "Man, that post was hilarious!" since that would be stating my opinion, just as you did with all the eloquence of a duck trying to fly with one wing.


You know what I enjoy most about running this site? Comments like that. Because rather than making me angry, they make me laugh rather hard. I find it amazing how some of the people who have been to this site

A) Can't construct a logical argument against any of my posts because hell, even I can do it.
B) Can't type. Seriously, do they just whack you on the head repeatedly with a hammer in elementary school now instead of giving you a typing class?
C) Take everything here deeply serious. For crying out loud, I have religious friends who have read this site, seen that picture and the lyrics following it, and remained un-offended. Then again, they're not morons...


So keep fueling the fire. I'll be here, loving every second of it.

We'll drag your halo through the mud...

After enduring a good couple weeks of the media's death watch, the Pope ran out of juice yesterday.

Wow: The Pope, Terri Shiavo, and Johnny Cochran. All gone in one week.

There's a joke in there somewhere, damn it, I know there is...

"Hook...Line... *twitch* And Sinker."

Owned #1
"I'm so pissed at you" - Keith
"Why?" - Me
"That post you made!"
"Oh"
"Sellout!" *snaps me with keychain*
"Nah, I've had it."
"You can't!"
"I can do whatever I want, bud."
"That's such a stupid reason though, come on! You have to admit!"
"Mm..."
"And you can't shut down the forum!"
"Why not?"
"I live there! You're basically letting yourself get owned by an 8th grader. Come on."
"Sorry dude, it's over."

Owned #2
Think about this: if people take everything you say so serious so as to distort your image, are those really people you need to be worried about?

If they can't distinguish between actual hate and humorous exaggeration, then it's really not worth spending your time trying to please them by shutting down a good site like this (in my opinion).

I'm sure you've made up your mind about this already, but I thought I'd post my thoughts anyway.

- Mike

Owned #3
so y did u shut down ur site? could it be that u really do care what i say and think? perhaps u do care that u hurt me...maybe not. Maybe i was wrong. Maybe ur not a heartless bastard. Maybe u r. i dunno

I never wanted u to completly shut the site down. I just wanted u 2 never write anything about sam again.

-Small(est) Kampfe

Owned #4
Hey Chris if you ever read this again I just want you to know that I am sorry for making such a big deal about the suicide story. I don't think you should stop writing stories on here...I think that you are a great writer and probably shouldn't let something like that from writing. And I still don't know exactly who you are but ohh well..I have a question. Can I have you e-mail thought?

- Angelique


Man, I had no idea how hard is to write amid my own full on laughter until right this very instant...

April Fools!

And there were hints: Look very closely at the apostrophe in "I'm" on the last paragraph. See where that takes you. And, less subtlely, the title of the post is a quote from Tool ("Hush") which I found fitting, given that's what I've made you lot out to be.

Every last sentence (almost anyways) of the previous post was complete lies. Well constructed and set up lies, mind you, but lies none the less. I'm not sure what's more sad: That I spent the last two weeks planning that post, or that it actually worked! The fact that I actually was sick Thursday just made it all the more believable I think (and no, I don't have work Sunday nor am I going anywhere today).

The only people who were "hurt" by the suicide post (which, by the way, you need to all move on from since I posted it four fucking months ago) were the ones who didn't/couldn't grasp the point. Although, judging by the direction of the comments and Ben's help at illustrating the point much better, I think it may have "clicked" for a few of you small folk.

And hate mongering? Ha! What you people get out of this site is up to you. I write here for recreation, not to stir up emotions in the all of five people I know of that read this regularly.

My only minor quibble is the date on that post is incorrect. Blogspot dates things by whenever you saved the draft, and since I worked on it some thursday night, it says "March 31", though it wasn't posted until April 1rst.

To Keith:

I knew you would be in the store last night at some point, and I figured it'd go one of two ways: "You're such a liar! No way," or "You're serious?!" Either way, I expected you to at least question it, so you can imagine my surprise (and the subsequent 5 minutes of solid laughter in the back room after you left) when you didn't. And after you said the line "that's such a dumb reason!", I almost burst out laughing at the irony right there. It is! No way in HELL am I shutting this place down because of what someone thinks of it. The only thing shutting this site down is legal action, and I think I can avoid that well enough.

To small(est) kampfe:

I care more about the migrating patterns of unladen African swallows than about what you, or any of your friends, think about either that post or the rest of the site. However, it's fun to see (especially in the comments section) the point of the post being beaten over your head, and you still sticking to the same irrelevent lines.

And short of "sam" doing something ridiculously stupid in the future that makes national headlines (seeing as he doesn't live here anymore), I have no reason to write about him. Nor can I see any reason for you to think I would do so otherwise...


Aaand to Angelique:

Aww, thanks! It's nice to be appreciated, especially by all the little people! They get you the furthest in life, they really do (as stepping stools, but I digress). And as to who I am, well, look at the handle I use here, and then look for the single solitary person wearing a shirt at school containing 98% of it blazing across the front.

To be fair, the sources of the latter two responses here don't know me and wouldn't know a joke from me even if I made it exceedingly obvious. But Keith... Ha! PWND!

Good day.