2004: To review...

So it's New Years eve, and I feel an obligatory listing update coming on. I need somewhat of a break from my cynicism before I go plunging head-first back into it... That, and I didn't feel like making any sort of original post at the moment. Anyways, lets get the standard awards out of the way first:

Albums:
Rammstein - Reise, Reise
Modest Mouse - Good News For People Who Love Bad News
Nightwish - Once

Given my love of metal, I find it odd to be listing those albums as the best of the year. But 2004 was not a year for metal, aside from Nightwish. Next year will be a much different story: New releases from Opeth, Moonsorrow, Dark Tranquillity, Soilwork, and FINALLY, Tool. Plus Mars Volta and Porcupine Tree... Hell, all that before summer even. I can't wait.

Rammstein's latest was definately the most impressive of that lot. Instead of doing what their other albums did so well, which was offering up about three outstanding tracks and 8 decent ones, this one was the exact opposite: The majority of the songs are great, with only a few mediocre tracks.

As for Modest Mouse... Prior to this year, i'd never heard of 'em. So i'm the type of person that pisses off the hardcore fans, and makes 'em say "well, the older stuff is way better" and "God! I hate MTV! All these stupid trendy kids like the new album!" And while i've since bought two more of their albums (Moon & Antartica, ...Long Drive...), both of which I think are great, I didn't find either as interesting a listen as Good News.

And as for Nightwish, well... It simply kicks ass from beginning to end, and there's no way i'm leaving it off the list.

Movie:

The Bourne Supremacy.

The only movie i've seen that was released this year actually deserving of any sort of reward, and it's a damn sequel. The Forgotten was cool as well, but the effects were really corny (and when you're dealing with aliens, stupid effects ruin it).

The movie industry is really growing stale, which has been said for years, but it's really starting to show now. Even the Bourne films are taken from novels, and there's far too many sequels and remakes coming out. At least part of the audience is starting to realize it, looking at how insanely well Napoleon Dynamite and Shaun Of The Dead did for indie movies. But I guess all the original ideas have been used up... Unless you count those fangled independent filmmakers. But nobody pays attention to them. What could they possibly contribute to... Er, wait a sec.

DVDs:

LOTR: Return Of The King Extended Edition. 4 hours long (fun fact: the credits are half an hour long. I wish I were joking, I really do...), and not one moment of boredom. No film i've ever seen has done that.

Predator 2 disc edition. Sadly, it took about 4 years and a shitty "vs" movie to get this out in the US. Most of the extra features were on the South American release of the DVD some time ago.

Games:

Half Life 2. Have I beat it yet? Nope. Played longer than 3 hours? Nope. Have a computer capable of running it at full detail? Not a chance. And it's still made my jaw drop at least half a dozen times.

Call Of Duty: United Offensive. COD + Vehicles = Teh win.


Most Unnecessary Hype: Passion Of The Christ. Know how this stacks up as an actual movie, and not as a piece of religious propaganda? Like so: Lovable hero captured. Loveable hereo tried unfairly. Lovable hereo smacked around a bit. Lovable hero dies. It tries to guilt trip you into realizing how much you allegedly owe to this Jesus character, who essentially said "I don't deserve this... What? You don't care? Well, ok, i'll bend over and take it. But I hope you people feel bad. Real bad." *insert sound of hammering on wood*

The funny thing is, the only people who were truely moved by the movie were the ones who had never seen anything gory before. And if you have, but haven't seen the movie yet, just go to ogrish. The videos are shorter, real, and in most cases, evoke much more emotion & deep thought than watching a storybook character getting nailed to a board.

Best Moment: Upgrading to DSL and gaming at high speed for the first time in my life, and eating away most of my hard drive as a result of the former.

Worst Moment: First person from my town is killed in Iraq on December 23rd, right before Christmas and not reaching my ears until xmas day. He was barely 21, and grew up with my brother (good friends). Still think this war is justified? Fuck you.

Commercial that need to disappear next year: Fanta. Please, make it stop. Pleeease.

TV show that need to disappear next year: Dr. Phil. Remember kids: You don't need to think for yourself when you can let an overweight divorced guy do it for you!

Worst Trend (in my area): Support for Bush because, hey, he's a fucking redneck too.

Second Worst Trend (in my area): Thinking Yellowcard is somehow cool for having an electric violin. This is especially annoying, considering you can barely hear the thing, and when you can, it sounds like crap. And to top it all off, they're pop-punk. Thankfully, this trend ended before the year was out. Want a band that can actually play unusual instruments with talent? Go listen to Moonsorrow or Kayo Dot.

Worst old trend that seems to be making a comeback: Videogames are making your children into violent heathens. I thought this theory died out once most people began to realize that the crime rate for teenagers is actually decreasing (which, oddly enough, is likely due to us having videogames to play rather than beating up hobos and old women in real life; damn physical effort to hell!). Alas, Senator Liebermann appears to be at it again, as I saw two seperate reports on this during the fall alone.

Winners for the dumbest things i've heard all year:
- "I like Bush because he likes hunting and logging and stuff."
- "Why don't they call him doctor Phil then?"

Best bands i've discovered this year: The Birthday Massacre, From Autumn To Ashes (their debut album anyways), Riverside, KMFDM, Modest Mouse, Ensiferum, The Mod Flanders Conspiracy, and Within Temptation.

Most disturbing discovery: Watching videos of death and destruction fascinates me. Couldn't tell you why, either. Well, I could, but that sort of deep self-analyzation is usually reserved for moments of sheer boredom.

Best Item obtained this year: Dell Jukebox 20 gigabyte mp3 player. Hands down, and probably the best thing i've received in the last 2 years.

Well, I guess that wraps it up. All in all, this year was alright for myself. As for the rest of the world... It's only getting worse. 2005 won't be any different.

That's right, screw ending on a positive note. Goodnight, and happy new year.

Suicidal? Would you please just get it over with...

A kid in my area recently tried to commit suicide via slitting his wrists, which didn't work out too well, given that he's still alive and all.

First of all, the fact that he "cut" is rather pathetic. Is it so hard to get a gun in fucking Montana? Hell, most households have a shotgun or two and it's pretty easy to extinguish yourself with one of those to the face. But slitting your wrists... If you want to make a "cry for help," (which is all that method is... You know subconsciously there's a chance you could survive) talk to someone for christ's sake! Don't ruin your family's walls/furniture/carpet you inconsiderate prick. And if you're hellbent on going out by cutting yourself in some way, go for the jugular or femoral artery. You'd impress a lot more people (me for sure) if you somehow managed to slice open your throat through your own willpower. But at least he actually tried, rather than the pansies who cut for recreation. I give him 5/10 for the effort.

Suicidal people are scum, and I don't mean the ones who actually have issues and just go out quietly (that's at least semi-respectable, though giving up life is still pathetic). I'm talking about the ones who flaunt it by cutting and showing off their scars, brag about their willingness to do it, and seem to get off by mentioning they're suicidal. Get it over with already.

And while you're at it, have some fun! It's the end for you, and if you're at all religious, suicide isn't exactly a key to heaven so it's not like it'll be any worse if you cause some mayhem in the process. Bleeding out takes minutes and isn't exactly comfortable, so a razor to the wrist isn't a very bright idea. Be creative! You're suicidal, remember? Here's some ideas:

- Jump off a particularly tall building and try to land on a hummer. Not only will you have completed your goal, but you'll put the granola driving it out a few thousand bucks. It's a win win situation!

- Find a nice mural in a public area, grab a sawed off shotgun (so you can hide it easily before doing the deed), and proceed to splatter yourself all over it! Just think: A) You'll ruin somebody's day since there would be witnesses (public place and all), B) You'd wreck the mural, causing hours and hours of painstaking labor painting it to be for nothing, and C) It'd forever be "that one spot where that person took a shotgun to their head." What better way to get back at this cruel, cruel world that spat upon you?!

- Make a bomb that you can strap to yourself, and find one of those large propane tanks, preferably near a road. Kablooey! An impressive and fiery spectacle that's relatively painless (provided the blast and not the shrapnel is what kills you) but fun for the whole family, since the majority of your body would be toast!

- Suicide by shotgun (it's obviously the way to go) in the most popular area of your house (living room, etc; something that can't be walled off) , but leave a note! Now, be specific. List names of people and say it's their fault, especially your parents and any close friends, and that your dying wish is they all burn in hell with you for the pain they've caused. Think about it: That kind of guilt-trip combined with the grizzly image of your former head spread across the room would ruin their lives. The bastards...

And now, a brief word on "cutting." It's hilarious, and exactly the same as saying "Hey, I may not have quite enough will power to actually kill myself, but dammit, I can make some really nifty scars on my wrists!" I could give a shit if it's an addiction for some people, too. "Oooh, I started cutting and now I can't stop!" Shut up. There's no such thing as momentary retardation, so if you're dumb enough to start, too bad. Man, you thought your life sucked before? Now you're addicted to giving yourself moronic looking scars! Hey, who knew: Life can be worse.


See what I'm getting at? If you can't handle life and want the easy way out, you may as well make it fun and painless. But please, for the sake of whatever it is you hold dear, don't muck about! If your life is really so painful and hard to bear, won't you want to get it out of the way quickly? Oh, right... The only reason you WOULDN'T go out with an instantaneous "bang" is because your life isn't so horrible, you have some will to carry on, and your claims of being "suicidal" are hypocritical. Somebody should shoot you just for being so astoundingly stupid.