Suicidal? Would you please just get it over with...
A kid in my area recently tried to commit suicide via slitting his wrists, which didn't work out too well, given that he's still alive and all.
First of all, the fact that he "cut" is rather pathetic. Is it so hard to get a gun in fucking Montana? Hell, most households have a shotgun or two and it's pretty easy to extinguish yourself with one of those to the face. But slitting your wrists... If you want to make a "cry for help," (which is all that method is... You know subconsciously there's a chance you could survive) talk to someone for christ's sake! Don't ruin your family's walls/furniture/carpet you inconsiderate prick. And if you're hellbent on going out by cutting yourself in some way, go for the jugular or femoral artery. You'd impress a lot more people (me for sure) if you somehow managed to slice open your throat through your own willpower. But at least he actually tried, rather than the pansies who cut for recreation. I give him 5/10 for the effort.
Suicidal people are scum, and I don't mean the ones who actually have issues and just go out quietly (that's at least semi-respectable, though giving up life is still pathetic). I'm talking about the ones who flaunt it by cutting and showing off their scars, brag about their willingness to do it, and seem to get off by mentioning they're suicidal. Get it over with already.
And while you're at it, have some fun! It's the end for you, and if you're at all religious, suicide isn't exactly a key to heaven so it's not like it'll be any worse if you cause some mayhem in the process. Bleeding out takes minutes and isn't exactly comfortable, so a razor to the wrist isn't a very bright idea. Be creative! You're suicidal, remember? Here's some ideas:
- Jump off a particularly tall building and try to land on a hummer. Not only will you have completed your goal, but you'll put the granola driving it out a few thousand bucks. It's a win win situation!
- Find a nice mural in a public area, grab a sawed off shotgun (so you can hide it easily before doing the deed), and proceed to splatter yourself all over it! Just think: A) You'll ruin somebody's day since there would be witnesses (public place and all), B) You'd wreck the mural, causing hours and hours of painstaking labor painting it to be for nothing, and C) It'd forever be "that one spot where that person took a shotgun to their head." What better way to get back at this cruel, cruel world that spat upon you?!
- Make a bomb that you can strap to yourself, and find one of those large propane tanks, preferably near a road. Kablooey! An impressive and fiery spectacle that's relatively painless (provided the blast and not the shrapnel is what kills you) but fun for the whole family, since the majority of your body would be toast!
- Suicide by shotgun (it's obviously the way to go) in the most popular area of your house (living room, etc; something that can't be walled off) , but leave a note! Now, be specific. List names of people and say it's their fault, especially your parents and any close friends, and that your dying wish is they all burn in hell with you for the pain they've caused. Think about it: That kind of guilt-trip combined with the grizzly image of your former head spread across the room would ruin their lives. The bastards...
And now, a brief word on "cutting." It's hilarious, and exactly the same as saying "Hey, I may not have quite enough will power to actually kill myself, but dammit, I can make some really nifty scars on my wrists!" I could give a shit if it's an addiction for some people, too. "Oooh, I started cutting and now I can't stop!" Shut up. There's no such thing as momentary retardation, so if you're dumb enough to start, too bad. Man, you thought your life sucked before? Now you're addicted to giving yourself moronic looking scars! Hey, who knew: Life can be worse.
See what I'm getting at? If you can't handle life and want the easy way out, you may as well make it fun and painless. But please, for the sake of whatever it is you hold dear, don't muck about! If your life is really so painful and hard to bear, won't you want to get it out of the way quickly? Oh, right... The only reason you WOULDN'T go out with an instantaneous "bang" is because your life isn't so horrible, you have some will to carry on, and your claims of being "suicidal" are hypocritical. Somebody should shoot you just for being so astoundingly stupid.
First of all, the fact that he "cut" is rather pathetic. Is it so hard to get a gun in fucking Montana? Hell, most households have a shotgun or two and it's pretty easy to extinguish yourself with one of those to the face. But slitting your wrists... If you want to make a "cry for help," (which is all that method is... You know subconsciously there's a chance you could survive) talk to someone for christ's sake! Don't ruin your family's walls/furniture/carpet you inconsiderate prick. And if you're hellbent on going out by cutting yourself in some way, go for the jugular or femoral artery. You'd impress a lot more people (me for sure) if you somehow managed to slice open your throat through your own willpower. But at least he actually tried, rather than the pansies who cut for recreation. I give him 5/10 for the effort.
Suicidal people are scum, and I don't mean the ones who actually have issues and just go out quietly (that's at least semi-respectable, though giving up life is still pathetic). I'm talking about the ones who flaunt it by cutting and showing off their scars, brag about their willingness to do it, and seem to get off by mentioning they're suicidal. Get it over with already.
And while you're at it, have some fun! It's the end for you, and if you're at all religious, suicide isn't exactly a key to heaven so it's not like it'll be any worse if you cause some mayhem in the process. Bleeding out takes minutes and isn't exactly comfortable, so a razor to the wrist isn't a very bright idea. Be creative! You're suicidal, remember? Here's some ideas:
- Jump off a particularly tall building and try to land on a hummer. Not only will you have completed your goal, but you'll put the granola driving it out a few thousand bucks. It's a win win situation!
- Find a nice mural in a public area, grab a sawed off shotgun (so you can hide it easily before doing the deed), and proceed to splatter yourself all over it! Just think: A) You'll ruin somebody's day since there would be witnesses (public place and all), B) You'd wreck the mural, causing hours and hours of painstaking labor painting it to be for nothing, and C) It'd forever be "that one spot where that person took a shotgun to their head." What better way to get back at this cruel, cruel world that spat upon you?!
- Make a bomb that you can strap to yourself, and find one of those large propane tanks, preferably near a road. Kablooey! An impressive and fiery spectacle that's relatively painless (provided the blast and not the shrapnel is what kills you) but fun for the whole family, since the majority of your body would be toast!
- Suicide by shotgun (it's obviously the way to go) in the most popular area of your house (living room, etc; something that can't be walled off) , but leave a note! Now, be specific. List names of people and say it's their fault, especially your parents and any close friends, and that your dying wish is they all burn in hell with you for the pain they've caused. Think about it: That kind of guilt-trip combined with the grizzly image of your former head spread across the room would ruin their lives. The bastards...
And now, a brief word on "cutting." It's hilarious, and exactly the same as saying "Hey, I may not have quite enough will power to actually kill myself, but dammit, I can make some really nifty scars on my wrists!" I could give a shit if it's an addiction for some people, too. "Oooh, I started cutting and now I can't stop!" Shut up. There's no such thing as momentary retardation, so if you're dumb enough to start, too bad. Man, you thought your life sucked before? Now you're addicted to giving yourself moronic looking scars! Hey, who knew: Life can be worse.
See what I'm getting at? If you can't handle life and want the easy way out, you may as well make it fun and painless. But please, for the sake of whatever it is you hold dear, don't muck about! If your life is really so painful and hard to bear, won't you want to get it out of the way quickly? Oh, right... The only reason you WOULDN'T go out with an instantaneous "bang" is because your life isn't so horrible, you have some will to carry on, and your claims of being "suicidal" are hypocritical. Somebody should shoot you just for being so astoundingly stupid.
posted by Soilworker at 12/13/2004 08:13:00 PM
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