Village Idiot(s)
Every once in awhile I skim through our local newspaper to look at either the sherriff's report (always nice to see former students taking great strides in their lives) or the opinions page. Normally, it's to view the latest and absolutely stunning masterpiece of paranoid rambling by the hitchiking, pothead twin of Santa Claus (Dan Waters). And while there was such a letter in the most recent issue of the paper, it was outdone by the following.
Now I'd be more than happy to reply to this in the paper, and I'm not quite sure if I will or not. My dad certainly doesn't need anymore crap from local dimwits, especially courtesy of his son. But this is almost too good to pass up.
Here's what's going on: A shooting range is being built up Southside Road, across the river from Kootenai Vista. It's a good... Oh, 2-3 miles straight from shore to the area, buried a bit in the mountains, quite a ways from being anywhere near the edge. Above a train track no less. Yet, some of the fine residents across the river think they'll be able to hear the shooting and that the local authorities (Forest Service and county employees at least) are trying to keep them out of the loop. The funny part is when they did sound measurements in their area the gunshots didn't even register... I don't think they've told anyone there that yet, but I imagine they will soon.
Anyways, I digress. Here's a letter to the editor from a concerned resident, with my subsequent comments:
"The Troy Shooting Range project has just come to my attention, I am against any such project.
As far as I know, none of the residents of Kootenai Vista, that lays just a few hundred yards up stream from this proposed site for this tax-guzzling black hole, know about the project. Why have none of Kootenai Vista's residents been notified of this proposed project?"
Ok, here's the logical thing to do: Contact the county office and get the full details on what's going on, rather than getting the info second hand from your friends, before spouting off like most of the idiots around here do. It's a lot like high school, where getting info directly from the source makes you seem infinately smarter. Not that people seem to learn that lesson there either...
"The proposed project will benefit only a few people in our area and at a high maintenance cost to our tax dollars."
Oh, right. Because the population of the greater Troy area aren't hunters. Silly me.
"Dollars, that could be better spent on an underground range like most other communities have for their law enforcement. An underground shooting range would be accessible all year and closer to those who would use it."
Oh, yes! That's it! An underground range for where 98% of the users will be rifle hunters! And let's make it 200-300 yards long while we're at it, seeing as that's about the average distance it takes to sight in a rifle properly. That's perfectly feasible, because hell, who DOESN'T have that sort of space to spare?
As he so eloquently points out, underground ranges are for law enforcement (and Bubba, the local inner-city gun nut). And I'm quite sure their weapon of choice is a pistol, not a .306. Practicing in that short of range for deer is the same as a police officer training to shoot border jumpers at 250 yards with a 9mm.
Contrary to popular belief, Montanians aren't normally "close ehnuf ta see da whites in der eyes" when they go deer hunting.
"The proposed project will only disrupt the lives of the residents living in the area..."
If by area, you mean on the same side of the river, then yes, they juuuust might be able to hear the gunshots. Both residents, even!
"...as well as, disturb the peace and quiet that comes from living in the country. Not only that, but continuous gun shots echoing up and down the river will travel vast distances with nothing to block them."
Except, ya know, the hills surrounding the range. And trees, but there aren't too many of those around here.
"If we wanted noise, we would move to town."
No no, if you wanted noise you would live across a river from a train track. And you've got that covered...
"The Southside Road, that would access the shooting range is nothing but a one lane and a very dangerous road to travel - even if not meeting another car coming the other way."
Just like nearly every road in the entire county...
"How about when Plum Creek is running logging trucks down the road? This road is nothing but a mud hole in the fall and spring, a dust bowl in the summer and close to impassable in the winter.
This proposed range will only be open for a few months a year due to road conditions..."
Hey now, that solves some things! Even if you COULD hear it, which it's been scientifically verified that you CAN'T (but since the Forest Service is a branch of the government, they must be filthy liars too), it would only be open 2-3 months at the most! That's barely any time at all. Hell I live "in the country"(2 miles out of town), 150 yards from a gravel pit that operates ALL YEAR and I can cope, even when i'm outdoors. And gunshots don't throw up dust clouds either.
"...and a burden on our already, stretched-to-the-limit sheriff's department and the Troy patrolmen. We have problems getting an officer to Kootenai Vista let alone, to have him off on some dirt road late at night endangering himself for some unwanted shooting range in the middle of the night."
Yeah, a range that'll be in use at the most three months is a huuuuge burden on them. The only problem here is if some moron shoots himself or a friend up there - it's a fair distance to a phone. However, it's no further a trip to help than where most people normally go shooting, which is *gasp* out in the middle of nowhere. If it were any closer, people might actually have a good reason to be upset at the noise eminating from it.
And "Unwanted range"? Yeah, our small county likes to throw money at things that NOBODY wants. Go ask any one of the HUNDREDS of local hunter if they want a real shooting range. I'm sure they'll say no to a free, professionally set up place to adjust their rifles and target practice. Grabbing some boxes with cheap targets pasted on, driving out into the middle of nowhere, and shooting at them while leaning on your truck is CLEARLY a better way of doing things...
"It is alarming to us that a shooting range of this magnitude would even be considered in our area. With the amount of waterfowl and large game that reside in and along the river. Such a project is beyond our understanding."
Good! Then you can kindly close your trap until you understand it!
"Why and who would propose such a disturbing venture to disturb our lives, and the wildlife that lives with us."
Good God, by this point i'm wondering if this person dropped out of high school given their demented understanding of punctuation usage (at least they can spell correctly for the most part)...
"There is a pair of eagles that nest and fish this very area on the river. We see them every day across the river in the trees hunting. What is going to happen to this pair of eagles when all the shooting starts?"
They'll keel over and die while screaming and convulsing in bloody agony!!
The eagles will move, genius. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure they can find prey along other parts of the river. Nature's funny that way. It like, adapts and stuff.
"There is some reason for this project that is not being seen by the public and being kept under cover by the people or persons behind it."
Well, i'm glad he made the distinction between people and persons...
And yes, this project wreaks of a cover up! No doubt it involves the illumanti, the secret UN invasion, and lizard people! The greys are probably keeping out of this one, as they seem to favor the southwestern climates (Montana is a bit chilly to them).
Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, the reason behind this shooting range is that people WANT A PLACE TO PRACTICE?! Just a thought...
"How would these people like a range in their back yard?"
I think he needs some basic geography lessons...
"If they say yes, then they are not our people to have in office in Lincoln County. They should move to Seattle, and enjoy their life of misery."
Yeah, them damn city-folk! With their... fancy shooting ranges!
"We want it known that we oppose this shooting range and any other developments that will change the tranquility of our neighborhood and the wildlife that lives with us on this calm and quiet country area."
And so it shall! Congratulations! You've made yourself look like a complete dunce in the local newspaper, and between your letter and the one below it by Dan Waters, you made my night.
Thank you!
Now I'd be more than happy to reply to this in the paper, and I'm not quite sure if I will or not. My dad certainly doesn't need anymore crap from local dimwits, especially courtesy of his son. But this is almost too good to pass up.
Here's what's going on: A shooting range is being built up Southside Road, across the river from Kootenai Vista. It's a good... Oh, 2-3 miles straight from shore to the area, buried a bit in the mountains, quite a ways from being anywhere near the edge. Above a train track no less. Yet, some of the fine residents across the river think they'll be able to hear the shooting and that the local authorities (Forest Service and county employees at least) are trying to keep them out of the loop. The funny part is when they did sound measurements in their area the gunshots didn't even register... I don't think they've told anyone there that yet, but I imagine they will soon.
Anyways, I digress. Here's a letter to the editor from a concerned resident, with my subsequent comments:
"The Troy Shooting Range project has just come to my attention, I am against any such project.
As far as I know, none of the residents of Kootenai Vista, that lays just a few hundred yards up stream from this proposed site for this tax-guzzling black hole, know about the project. Why have none of Kootenai Vista's residents been notified of this proposed project?"
Ok, here's the logical thing to do: Contact the county office and get the full details on what's going on, rather than getting the info second hand from your friends, before spouting off like most of the idiots around here do. It's a lot like high school, where getting info directly from the source makes you seem infinately smarter. Not that people seem to learn that lesson there either...
"The proposed project will benefit only a few people in our area and at a high maintenance cost to our tax dollars."
Oh, right. Because the population of the greater Troy area aren't hunters. Silly me.
"Dollars, that could be better spent on an underground range like most other communities have for their law enforcement. An underground shooting range would be accessible all year and closer to those who would use it."
Oh, yes! That's it! An underground range for where 98% of the users will be rifle hunters! And let's make it 200-300 yards long while we're at it, seeing as that's about the average distance it takes to sight in a rifle properly. That's perfectly feasible, because hell, who DOESN'T have that sort of space to spare?
As he so eloquently points out, underground ranges are for law enforcement (and Bubba, the local inner-city gun nut). And I'm quite sure their weapon of choice is a pistol, not a .306. Practicing in that short of range for deer is the same as a police officer training to shoot border jumpers at 250 yards with a 9mm.
Contrary to popular belief, Montanians aren't normally "close ehnuf ta see da whites in der eyes" when they go deer hunting.
"The proposed project will only disrupt the lives of the residents living in the area..."
If by area, you mean on the same side of the river, then yes, they juuuust might be able to hear the gunshots. Both residents, even!
"...as well as, disturb the peace and quiet that comes from living in the country. Not only that, but continuous gun shots echoing up and down the river will travel vast distances with nothing to block them."
Except, ya know, the hills surrounding the range. And trees, but there aren't too many of those around here.
"If we wanted noise, we would move to town."
No no, if you wanted noise you would live across a river from a train track. And you've got that covered...
"The Southside Road, that would access the shooting range is nothing but a one lane and a very dangerous road to travel - even if not meeting another car coming the other way."
Just like nearly every road in the entire county...
"How about when Plum Creek is running logging trucks down the road? This road is nothing but a mud hole in the fall and spring, a dust bowl in the summer and close to impassable in the winter.
This proposed range will only be open for a few months a year due to road conditions..."
Hey now, that solves some things! Even if you COULD hear it, which it's been scientifically verified that you CAN'T (but since the Forest Service is a branch of the government, they must be filthy liars too), it would only be open 2-3 months at the most! That's barely any time at all. Hell I live "in the country"(2 miles out of town), 150 yards from a gravel pit that operates ALL YEAR and I can cope, even when i'm outdoors. And gunshots don't throw up dust clouds either.
"...and a burden on our already, stretched-to-the-limit sheriff's department and the Troy patrolmen. We have problems getting an officer to Kootenai Vista let alone, to have him off on some dirt road late at night endangering himself for some unwanted shooting range in the middle of the night."
Yeah, a range that'll be in use at the most three months is a huuuuge burden on them. The only problem here is if some moron shoots himself or a friend up there - it's a fair distance to a phone. However, it's no further a trip to help than where most people normally go shooting, which is *gasp* out in the middle of nowhere. If it were any closer, people might actually have a good reason to be upset at the noise eminating from it.
And "Unwanted range"? Yeah, our small county likes to throw money at things that NOBODY wants. Go ask any one of the HUNDREDS of local hunter if they want a real shooting range. I'm sure they'll say no to a free, professionally set up place to adjust their rifles and target practice. Grabbing some boxes with cheap targets pasted on, driving out into the middle of nowhere, and shooting at them while leaning on your truck is CLEARLY a better way of doing things...
"It is alarming to us that a shooting range of this magnitude would even be considered in our area. With the amount of waterfowl and large game that reside in and along the river. Such a project is beyond our understanding."
Good! Then you can kindly close your trap until you understand it!
"Why and who would propose such a disturbing venture to disturb our lives, and the wildlife that lives with us."
Good God, by this point i'm wondering if this person dropped out of high school given their demented understanding of punctuation usage (at least they can spell correctly for the most part)...
"There is a pair of eagles that nest and fish this very area on the river. We see them every day across the river in the trees hunting. What is going to happen to this pair of eagles when all the shooting starts?"
They'll keel over and die while screaming and convulsing in bloody agony!!
The eagles will move, genius. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure they can find prey along other parts of the river. Nature's funny that way. It like, adapts and stuff.
"There is some reason for this project that is not being seen by the public and being kept under cover by the people or persons behind it."
Well, i'm glad he made the distinction between people and persons...
And yes, this project wreaks of a cover up! No doubt it involves the illumanti, the secret UN invasion, and lizard people! The greys are probably keeping out of this one, as they seem to favor the southwestern climates (Montana is a bit chilly to them).
Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, the reason behind this shooting range is that people WANT A PLACE TO PRACTICE?! Just a thought...
"How would these people like a range in their back yard?"
I think he needs some basic geography lessons...
"If they say yes, then they are not our people to have in office in Lincoln County. They should move to Seattle, and enjoy their life of misery."
Yeah, them damn city-folk! With their... fancy shooting ranges!
"We want it known that we oppose this shooting range and any other developments that will change the tranquility of our neighborhood and the wildlife that lives with us on this calm and quiet country area."
And so it shall! Congratulations! You've made yourself look like a complete dunce in the local newspaper, and between your letter and the one below it by Dan Waters, you made my night.
Thank you!
posted by Soilworker at 3/25/2005 08:16:00 PM
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